Chapter 3 Reflections

Chapter 3 Reflections

Chapter 3 coaches us essential steps for parents and professionals to “keep on dancing.”

My Reflection: As I review this list, the three that caught my attention are: 

1. Go Slow – I think it’s really important to remember to be patient with yourself, especially when you’re being thrown into a situation with overwhelming amount of new information. With time, questions, and reflection, the situation will become more clear and less stress-inducing. Remember that you should ask for the support your need!
2. Trust that your partners want to share valuable information with you and do their best to support your child – It is so easy to be defensive during this process, but as much as you need to trust yourself and what you know about your child, you also have to trust that these professionals have your best interest in mind (unless you have real evidence of the opposite). 
3. Involve your child – Part of advocating for your child is letting their own voice be heard. You need to help them understand their disability and the supports/interventions that can be put in place for them.

An additional suggestion I want to add to this list is: Alongside keeping high expectations free of judgement for your children, keep high expectations free of judgement for yourself! As hard as it may be, you can do this. With the right supports, friends, family, providers, organizations, you can and will help your child live the best life they can. 

My Reflection: How does the reframing of “in denial” impact your thinking about what families might experience?

I really enjoyed this section of the text. Reframing being “in denial” as “in disagreement” takes the judgment and condescension out of the situation. I believe it’s okay to have high expectations and dreams that may never be met, as long as there’s no punishment for meeting/achieving them. It’s better than setting the bar lower with the chance of not actually reaching one’s full potential. To be told your “in denial” is essentially being told that you’re wrong. Having a disagreement is a reason for conversation, not a reason to be shut down. I imagine that it would be very hard for families in these situations to feel understood. 

My Reflection: Name two other strategies you can use to promote partnerships.

1. Practice cultural literacy. Make an effort to learn about the family’s culture.
2. Let them know that you will never understand exactly what they’re going through, but that you understand that it can be very difficult. Make it clear that you want to listen and provide the needed assistance, resources etc. 

My Reflection: What strikes you as important to remember when meetings are beginning?

The beginning of the meeting is where the tone is set. Despite the many formalities in these kinds of meetings, it needs to feel comfortable and welcoming. The parents need to feel like they’re not just another case on the docket. Take the time to make sure they’ve gone to the restroom and have received water if needed. Make sure they clearly know who everyone in the meeting is. Start with small talk and checking in on how the parents are doing. It’s okay to talk person to person for a moment and not provider to parent as long as the subject matters are appropriate. Then start with some positives. Remind the parents how much you all appreciate their child and what they have to offer. From this position, move on with clear explanations and plenty of time for encouraged questions. Make sure there’s time to process in between chunks of information. The welcoming atmosphere should try to be sustained even through disagreements, with breaks as needed and expressed understanding. 

My Reflection: One thing I want to remember about beginning and ending meetings is:

You should do your best to make the parents as comfortable as you can once they get there and to send them away feeling listened to and with clear plans/next steps and supports in place.